The Injured Deer, Pt. II

A little over two years ago, in January, I wrote a covid-adjacent poem about a gimpy deer we’d see from time to time in our backyard. A doe that got along on three legs, her rear left leg dragging, probably from a run-in with a car. I was amazed that she was surviving amidst our maze of streets and our (occasionally) coyote-haunted woods. Here are the last two verses of the poem:

We stood at the window in the ruins of a year
that has left our hearts in tangles and our minds afog.
Out there behind the house all these months
she had limped along, prowling nights
loud with howls and honks, bedding down
in some thicket to drowse the long days. 

And here she stood in the yard after all this time,
so fragile, so resilient, having somehow survived
it all. And here we stood, a little ashamed
at our brittleness, our comforts,
our complaints, in our parallel world
we pretend is the only one.

Well, a couple days ago, taking my end-of-day jog along the streets of the Crestwood neighborhood, I looked up and there she was again! We surprised each other, and both of us stopped in our tracks. She was in a grassy ditch between houses, healthy-looking, though her leg had contracted up close to her body in an S-shape, out of the way when she walked. I took out my phone for this picture.

She allowed that, then after a time began to ease away into the yard, seeming unafraid, just tired of looking at me. And that’s when I saw the most heartening thing. Further back in the yard stood a half dozen other deer, including a couple yearling fawns. She’d found her herd! Adopted by a tribe not put off by her disability. Yes, I’m sentimental. Yes, I hear all the complaints about troublesome deer in the suburbs. But honestly, in this week of the solar eclipse, for me, this was the encounter that dazzled.

A Very Personal Perspective on Poetry Month

Nice that they call April Poetry Month (also Autism Month and Occupational Therapy Month among who knows how many other designations). In high school, long ago, I had the good fortune to discover Robert Frost and tried to assemble pithy, rhyming poems in his style (the notebook I scribbled them in was chewed up by mice to make a bed for their brood, which is, when you think about it, a perfectly Frostian fate).

In college, when my classmates were studying economics or biochemistry, I fell hard for poetry. Corny as it seems, it was the stodgy British Victorians who spoke to me, fighting it out with Christianity, as this Southern Baptist-raised son of rural Virginia was doing a hundred years later in my own little life. Tennyson, Arnold, Browning, Hardy: rock stars in their day who are rarely read now, they wrote tellingly about the end of things, tried to figure out how the human heart might survive inside the machine that the modern world was becoming. Worked for me.

It’s funny to write this next bit, not because it was comical to me, but because the very idea that reading a book can be life changing is so old-fashioned and silly. But that’s what happened when our class dipped into the first edition of Whitman’s Leaves of Grass. It helped that my section advisor fashioned himself a latter-day Whitman. He tried to look like the frontispiece picture, lived large, contained multitudes, and read from the book with gusto. I never went that far into hero worship, but to me Whitman offered a way of seeing the world and living in it that embraced rather than lamented it all. As it has for many lost souls, Leaves of Grass became a sort of bible to me, and to this day I can quote as many of its lines as I can of the Biblical verses learned so devotedly at Vacation Bible School in childhood.

Of course, there were other guideposts and inspirations:  the young Bruce Springsteen and Tom Waits (I did try to dress like them, in my thrift store suit and floppy stocking hat), then the gloriously scabrous punks and that wicked old soul Henry Miller. For a semester, I worked as a guard at the Fogg Museum, where all day, every day, one of Van Gogh’s scowling self-portraits dared me to wake up, his mad eyes dogging my every step. Yes, I know. Was there no one in that fancy college who might have grabbed me by the collar and given me a good spank, sending me off on a path to riches and import? Well, I’m sure there were, but to read this you have to register what a spacey romantic I was. The last thing I cared to hear was common sense. (Frankly, I’m still that way.)

That said, when people asked, I said I would be a lawyer. Even took the LSATs (then, that afternoon, went to see a new movie, something called Star Wars). But I never applied to law school, and never regretted that decision. My life has been lived elsewhere, but always with poetry in hand.

I’m picky, though. Just as saccharine pop music irks me, I cringe at the easy lines of famous poets like Mary Oliver or Billy Collins. Give me the gnarly, questioning poems of William Bronk, the bracing zen of Gary Snyder, the piercing pop art of Tony Hoagland, any translation of Du Fu. The folks who understand how limited is language in the face of whatever is, yet tinker as best they can.

It’s Poetry Month again. Across a strip of America this morning solitary souls are sitting with their coffee scratching out words to describe the eclipse, trying other words to somehow express how that odd experience thrilled and mystified. People writing verses that few will ever read. I’m one of them, maybe you are, too. Maybe poetry changed your life, as it did mine. I hope you’re glad about that. I sure am.

Follow-up: Though not my favorite poet, turns out that Mary Oliver had a similar life-changing experience (more productive in her case, ahem) in first reading Whitman. My friend Randy Fertel sent me this quote today from her memoir Upstream, which oh my so beautifully articulates it all: “The Whitman poems stood before me like a model of delivery when I began to write poems myself: I mean the oceanic power and rumble that travels through a Whitman poem – the incantatory syntax, the boundless affirmation. In those years, truth was elusive – as was my own faith that I could recognize and contain it. Whitman kept me from the swamps of a worse uncertainty, and I lived many hours within the lit circle of his certainty, and his bravado. Unscrew the locks from the doors! Unscrew the doors themselves from their jambs! And there was the passion which he invested in the poems. The metaphysical curiosity! The oracular tenderness with which he viewed the world – its roughness, its differences, the stars, the spider – nothing was outside the range of his interest. I reveled in the specificity of his words. And his faith – that kept my spirit buoyant surely, though his faith was without a name that I ever heard of. Do you guess that I have some intricate purpose? Well I have. . .for the April rain has, and the mica on the side of the rock has.”

Lagniappe: The New York Times occasionally does these fascinating interactive articles about artists. Here’s their new one reflecting on one of Frank O’Hara’s love poems.

A “Best of”

Over the years I’ve been fortunate to find online publication for stories, poems and photographs with the wonderfully diverse and creative publication Mad Swirl. Happy to learn that once again this year one of my poems has achieved a place in their annual “Best of Mad Swirl” collection. Whoot!

Here’s the Amazon link to the collection: Best of Mad Swirl 2024.

And here’s a link to the artist’s archive of my photos on the Mad Swirl website: https://madswirl.com/gallery/gentry-tony/

By the way, if you’re a poet, graphic artist or photographer seeking early exposure, I’d highly recommend submitting to Mad Swirl. They’re always looking for new work, they don’t charge for submissions, and they even hold online readings for any contributor who cares to join in. Fun!

Snowy Day Poems

Dawns on me that the day may soon come when central Virginia will see a winter without snow, and then another, and then before long snowy days will have become just a memory for us to bore our grandkids with. I’m going to make a hot chocolate, pull a chair up to the window, and, with our pup Buddy at my side, attend.

Sharing, too, a couple snowy day poems, the first by me, the second by Sarah Knorr, who loved snowy days so much. If you’ve written one, please comment back with it – let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

New Mad Swirls

Just a quick announcement this morning in thanks to the tireless and intrepid editors at the online multi-media journal Mad Swirl. Earlier this week, they kindly featured my poem Mementos, and I learned just now that they have also accepted and posted a new series of black and white photos on their arts board as well.

This journal means a lot to me. They consistently share work emerging outside the shielded walls of academia by artists with hearts and sharp eyes, and clearly, for them it’s all about the love. Swirl on, mad ones, and thank you!

ps – Here’s a link to a recent printed “best of” anthology – have a flash fiction piece in there!

Vanishing Point – a poem

Buddy splashing in the creek behind our house turns up an arrowhead
stubby quartz chipped to fit a twig pierce a buck’s tawny hide.

There that maw in the hillside where some ancestor mined for gold.
Rusted wire in the woods where sheep grazed in the day.

I went home to say goodbye to my brother who lay dying
in our late parents’ bedroom couldn’t take it had to go outside
and poking around in the back field where we’d raised chickens once
kicked up a rotten bucket a corroded canister what’s this?

So here I am at ten this July day swatting shuttlecocks with him
taking turns churning the salt and ice packed peaches and cream
until our father dips a finger licks the custard spits disgusted.
The can had leaked. See him set himself to hurl the whole
kit and caboodle over the back fence. (Mama opens a bag of Oreos.)

Well, here the moment lay weed sewn and half buried in the red earth
even that hand crank that had chafed my knuckles on its side.

In Virginia sometimes to stretch our legs
we wander Civil War battlefields visualize for instance
how close the farm boys crouched facing off like carnival ducks
at Cold Harbor. Once in a while you’ll see an old man in earphones
divining the lawn with his wand in search of a minie ball a button
some more than storied proof of one episode on this or that ageless acre.

And the night Mama died.  She’d been in coma for weeks
at the nursing home in Fork Union built on the farm where she was born.
I left there in tears before dawn stopped short in the parking lot
by a herd of cows chewing cud among the cars
a film overlay made of now and then
as if they’d wandered up from childhood to low her on.

Buddy cocks his head to wonder why I linger in the ankle deep stream
with this little shard of quartz. He doesn’t care that we live
in a lap dissolve, flies in amber that is only sugar melting.

The point at which receding parallel lines
seen in linear perspective seem to meet.

An article on a new book of photography in this morning’s Washington Post sent me down this rabbit hole! Here’s the article.

Antidote: a poem

Confucius say
make a ritual
in order to attend
in order to focus
on what is needed
to calm enough to get
outside the blather
between your ears.

Make a meal and share it.
Taste and season as you go.

Pick up trash along your walk.

Turn off the phone and sit
and wait for what turns up:

maybe a hummingbird?

Next time you point and say
“You’re not the boss of me,”
scowl at that annoying mask
(while I pout back behind mine),

what if we consider
that even now that little
bee of a bird is gaining weight
simply from sipping flowers

to somehow brave the Gulf of Mexico
again so his race can go on?